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Archive for the ‘Mets’ Category

Mr Met Loses His Head (Video)

October 17, 2008 1 comment
Categories: funny, Mets, Sports

For Fun As You Watch the Mets Collapse

September 25, 2008 1 comment

From the Onion, Carlos Voltron!:

According to eyewitnesses, before the Mets players completed the complicated procedure, in which they fused their physical selves and combined their talents to form the 20,000-ton robot, manager Jerry Manuel called the team to the dugout, where he commanded them to prepare their interlock systems for activation, connect the appropriate dyna-therms, charge up the infra-cells to full capacity, engage the mega-thrusters, and give it their best out there…

Although the Mets’ fielding skills were excellent, they were not without flaws. Cubs manager Lou Piniella came out to the field to protest several times, complaining that his base runners injured themselves in the 10-foot deep trenches left behind from Carlos Voltron scooping up ground balls. Piniella also expressed frustration over his players suffering from collapsed rib cages, ruptured organs, and decapitations every time Voltron tagged them out.

Carlos Voltron’s solid and consistent defensive play was only upstaged in the fans’ eyes by his powerful hitting, with those in attendance claiming they suffered bad sunburns from the glare caused by the robot forming his blazing bat. Stepping up to the plate, he made almost perfect contact with the first pitch, belting the ball out of Shea and into the next solar system.

Carlos Voltron

Categories: Mets, Sports

Mets Closer Billy Wagner Out for a Year

September 8, 2008 Comments off

After the uh-oh before last night’s rousing prime time victory over the Phillies… the uh-oh becomes reality.

From the NY Daily News:

Mets closer Billy Wagner has a torn ligament in his left elbow and will have surgery this week, meaning he’ll miss the rest of this season and likely all of 2009, too.

The surgery will repair a torn MCL ligament and a torn flexor pronator, and has a recovery time of at least a year, the Mets announced Monday. Since Wagner is currently in the third year of a four-year, $43-million contract, it’s possible he has thrown his last pitch for the Mets, though the team holds a $8 million option on Wagner for the 2010 season or there is a $1 million buyout on the deal.

Billy Wagner on mound for Mets

Categories: baseball, injury, Mets, Sports

Still Ghetto, The Montauk Monster, Deadline Day, and Other Happenings

July 31, 2008 2 comments

Montauk Monster photo from GawkerAh, a busy day at work, there is a (dude that’s totally fake) Montauk Monster that washed up on the eastern LI shores (pictured @ left). The oldest recorded joke we know of is about flatulence, the next one is about sex. And below, a completely unnecessary photo of Danneel Harris, one of the stars of Harold and Kumar go to Guantanamo Bay, a movie whose unrated version featured and uncomfortable amount of (unrealistic) female nudity for a man to watch with his lady. I can’t believe I’m typing this, but it actually was excessive and took from the humor. Now for some links:

+At first, I thought the Griffey trade to the White Sox (now approved!) sounded awesome. And now that he’s approved it, I think… why? The Sox have Swisha-house, Jermaine Dye, the killin’-it Carlos Quentin, and then Thome and Konerko at 1B/ DH… so unless they trade one of those guys or glue Konerko to the bench, I don’t get it yet.

+The Yankees have made deals for Xavier Nady (and his name, passed down through the generations), Pudge Rodriguez, and have tossed out LaTroy Hawkins. Keep active, pinstripers!

+Dear Mets: That is NOT a reason to make a stupid trade. Even though John Maine is strained and the Mets are worried about Pelfrey’s workload. No dumb trades, guys. no rentals, no Billy Taylors. The team is humming, and Hardball Times points out the the pitching staff is improved by half a run since Rick Peterson’s firing, and though his defense has not been as good, Jose Reyes might be the best shortstop in the league at creating runs.

+The now-traded-to-Houston (analysis by the Melo Backpedal here) Ron Artest received this response from Yao Ming, reacting to a reporter’s question:

“When I text-messaged with Luis (Scola), we talked about team chemistry. That’s only what worries us. We worry about the new attitude to the team. We are adding talent to the team, and we need that, but building team chemistry is important. This is not bad. I don’t mean he is not welcome to Houston. But a new player always needs some time.

“There’s worry. Obviously, yes. … Hopefully, he’s not fighting anymore and going after a guy in the stands. … I have to find a way to talk to him and see what we can do as a basketball team. He has a history, but we know he is a physical player. He is a good player. He really can help us.”

Ron Ron countered:

“This is Tracy (McGrady) and Yao’s team, you know,” Artest said. “I’m not going to take it personal. I understand what Yao said, but I’m still ghetto. That’s not going to change. I’m never going to change my culture. Yao has played with a lot of black players, but I don’t think he’s ever played with a black player that really represents his culture as much as I represent my culture.

“Once Yao Ming gets to know me, he’ll understand what I’m about. But really, he doesn’t have to talk to me, because to me, I’m going (to Houston).”

I’d like to add this part: while not a black player, I am black, and Ron Ron, you have your own culture. Queensbridge doesn’t even share your culture, you’re on some other stuff. New York loves you, but Ron, you represent Artest. You go back to Queensbridge, but are your pants are saggy, teeth yellow, a la Method Man/ Redman?

More pro and college basketball, and a note about the Jets and Farve after the jump.
Read more…

Willie Randolph, Fired

June 17, 2008 Comments off

Fired after last night’s win at Anaheim. Down the street from Disneyland, no less. Jerry Manuel is the new interim manager. There will be more media yapping and hype. For now, enjoy the New York Times’ take on the situation, because I don’t have much to say besides “mishandled”:
Read more…

Categories: baseball, coach issues, Mets, Sports

Sports Tip Drill 06.16.08

June 16, 2008 2 comments

Me? I’ve been summering it up and welcoming expatriate New Yorkers, watching the trees twist in the wind when it storms, and watching Euro 2008. Are you NOT watching this? This tournament is reminding me what good futbol/ soccer can be – tense, ridiculous, with leads just hanging on a string.

We were cheering for Turkey (there’s Turkish history on my fiancee’s side, and I didn’t like the cut of the Czechs’ jibs), but while they were fighting to tie the game up, they gave up a second goal. All was lost… until it was not. The first goal was nice, but the second (how the keeper didn’t hang on to that ball was beyond me. Or a testament to being tired.) and third were the comeback we never thought we would see. Absolutely incredible. I haven’t said that many holy sh*ts since… well, it’s been a long time.

edit: Deadspin’s narrative about the game. I can go on for days about how incredible this was.

(I can’t embed the video from MySoccerMedia, so enjoy video highlights of Turkey vs. Czech via link, please.)

Only thing: the freaking goalie makes a save and, to the side, shoves an opposing player, getting kicked out with a red card. In the 91st minute. So he’s out for the next game. Nice work, dude.

+ Top NYC guard Lance Stephenson lists his prospective schools as Kansas, UCLA, USC… and possibly St. John’s, in the way that vowels sometimes include “Y”.

+ This is how South Florida creates a program: another guy with eligibility problems in Gus Gilchrist, former Maryland recruit… who was a Virginia Tech recruit before that… will now transfer to USF. He’s highly regarded, and a great get for Stan Heath:

As a senior at Progressive Christian, Gilchrist averaged 22.3 points and 10.3 rebounds. He initially signed early with Virginia Tech in November 2006, but opted out of his letter of intent because of the tragic April 2007 shootings. He enrolled in Maryland in January 2008, but the Atlantic Coast Conference ruled Gilchrist would not be eligible until January 2009 and would lose a year of eligibility because he had previously signed with another ACC school. This decision prompted him to leave Maryland.

“No one ever told him about it [the transfer rule],” Woody said. “They sprung it on him. He could have gone to any school in the country after Virginia Tech.”

Maryland’s appeals to have Gilchrist eligible this fall were denied, so that’s why Gilchrist left Maryland, Woody said.

Woody said USF would begin the process Monday to appeal to the NCAA for a hardship waiver that would allow Gilchrist to play this season at USF. If the appeal is not successful, Gilchrist would not be able to play at USF until the 2009-10 season.

+ Costs to Indiana University from the Kelvin Sampson basketball violations.

+ Voluntary restrictions for college coaches with respect to letters of intent for pre-high school athletes? Myles Brand finds them untoward, and the National Association of Basketball Coaches is looking for a voluntary ban on signing kids who can’t drive to basketball commitments.

Meniscus repair+ West Virginia forward Joe Alexander is staying in the draft (where he can’t beat up on St. John’s anymore). Kansas State forward Bill Walker hurt an already-injured knee, but wants to stay in the draft. Jeff Goodman reports that it’s a partial tear in the meniscus. What’s that, you ask? To the right is a picture of a knee.

+ Ray Allen left after last night’s NBA Finals game after hearing learning about a health issue involving one of his children, possibly diabetes. Good luck, Ray.

+ Rashard Mendenhall has some beef with Ron Zook and the Illinois football program. H/T to AOL Fanhouse.

+ Zach Randolph and his entourage get into a fight in Portland. *Smacks Head*

+ Becky Hammon is playing for Russia in the Olympics, though she has no ancestral ties.

+ Willie Randolph might be safe from being fired, but Mr. “I can fix Victor Zambrano in 10 minutes” Rick Peterson might be looking into unemployment benefits.

Fernando F&%^$*?!!! Tatis

May 29, 2008 Comments off

Fernando Tatis is trying to get his place back in the majors:

For the second straight night, the Mets trotted out their bizarre good-luck charm in the person of public relations guru Jay Horwitz, who was once again clad in a loud orange jacket that even TBS’ Craig Sager would have left on the rack.

It worked, though, as Fernando Tatis’ one-out, two-run double in the 12th inning gave the Mets a 7-6 win over the Marlins last night at Shea Stadium. The Mets had tied it on Endy Chavez’s pinch home run in the ninth.

Fernando Tatis

So you know, I was following the game online and while D was watching Top Chef, I shouted “holy s**t! Fernando f****** Tatis just drove home the winning runs!” It’s a start, a come from behind homer by Endy Chavez of all people in the ninth to tie, then a run given up by Met pitcher Duaner Sanchez in the top of the 12th, and then 2 runs (Wright and Beltran were on base) in the bottom of the twelfth to beat the Marlins.

More game description from Mets Geek.

Categories: baseball, Mets, Sports