From Esquire, a timeline of Roger Clemens lies, twisted truths, and boorish behavior. Three of my favorites:
Roger Clemens wins his first Cy Young and the AL MVP, prompting Hall of Famer Hank Aaron to opine that pitchers should not be eligible for the MVP, since they don’t play every day. Clemens thoughtfully responds, “I wish he were still playing. I’d probably crack his head open to show him how valuable I was.”
“If someone met me on a game day, he wouldn’t like me. The days in between, I’m the goodest guy you can find,” states Clemens. He proves the first part true when he takes the mound in Game 4 of the American League Championship Series against Oakland and lasts two innings before being ejected for threatening umpire Terry Cooney (“I’m gonna find out where you live and come get you this winter”). This is actually quite mild compared to what he said to Oakland pitcher and recovering alcoholic Bob Welch: “Have another beer. Be a man. Stop drinking milk.” Ah, Roger at his goodest.
An irate Clemens throws a piece of a broken bat at Mike Piazza during the World Series. Maintaining total innocence, Roger offers the perfectly plausible explanation that he just wanted to toss the bat “towards our on-deck circle, where our batboys were at.” Then he offers the equally perfectly plausible explanation that he “thought [the bat] was the ball.” Finally, he concludes, “To be honest with you, I didn’t know if it was the bat or the ball,” putting the matter to rest forever.
– Maryland might be really struggling this year, but at least they beat on Wake Forest behind Adrian Bowie, Barnbale Osby, and my favorite crazy sloppy Venezuelan, Greivis Vasquez. Gary Williams played the freshman Bowie for much of the game (32 minutes) and he scored 10 points with 8 rebounds. On Vasquez, from Billy Packer (by way of the Baltimore Sun’s blog by Ray Frager):
Assessing how much the Terps need Eric Hayes to return to play point guard, Packer said how Greivis Vasquez is miscast in that role: “The more he has the ball in his hands, the more he feels the pressure to make plays.”
Or pressure to dribble it so fast it leaves his hands.
– Baylor is 14-2, 2-0 in the Big XII which sports tough teams in Kansas, Texas, Texas A&M, with perhaps Nebraska (who lost to Colorado), Kansas State, and Missouri. They could be top 4 in their conference and dancing this year. Here’s a long article on Baylor and Scott Drew from ESPN.
– Miami suffered their second loss of the year, to Boston College, famous for losing to Robert Morris College this week. This Hurricane team is going to fall off like a drunk on a twin bed.
– Penn State had hopes of a solid year, and maybe even a tournament appearance for once… then they lose Geary Claxton. They’re going to score under 45 at some point this season.
– Mizzou ran all over the Texas Longhorns, if you missed it last weekend.
– The Kentucky Wildcats are under .500 again after the loss to Mississippi State.
– Dick Vitale and his voice are returning on February 4th. My earplugs are at the ready.
– Notre Dame is looking serious after beating Cincinnati by nearly 20. This could be the year that Mike Brey has a second-round win? How am I going to make out a bracket without my usual Notre Dame upset.
– Drake is in Iowa but still, 14-1 gets some notice . Like Tony Bennett before him, and like Sean Sutton hasn’t yet done, Keno Davis takes over for his father and is likely heading to the NCAA for the first time since 1971 from of the Missouri Valley Conference, where Southern Illinois and Wichita State have fallen down.